So you see all those commercials for University of Phoenix online. It’s got the epic soundtrack, the tired-but-hopeful people who look just like you and me, working in strange places like a back office at work or in a diner with a baby on a boob. The commercials spin a message of hope and … More I’m going to be a University of Phoenix grad. Here’s what that’s like. (an ongoing chronicle)
So lately, I dunno what it is, but my mortality has been weighing heavily on me, and it’s definitely shit (not chocolate). Maybe I’m having a midlife crisis. Maybe I’ve truly come to embrace my atheism and the fact that there is no afterlife, only the existential black hole that can be called “ceasing … More My mortality is haunting me.
Look, I get it, wine is intimidating. You see people holding the glass just so and sniffing and swirling and dropping terms like “mouthfeel” and “jammy” with their noses in the air. You go to a restaurant and get recommendations from special people called sommeliers who are infinitely more intelligent and sophisticated than you … More Wine Snobbery is Bullshit: From a Wine Snob.
So we all have that one child that we’ll never understand. Mine is the middle child. And what I understand the least about her is why she can’t flush the goddamn toilet. I know it’s her. She denies it until she’s blue in the face. She sneaks about, attempting to be the phantom pooper. But … More Why can’t she flush the goddamn toilet?
I’m still surprised every day by the things that people don’t know about banks or the way their money is handled. Seriously dude, $2 bills aren’t special. While my experience was just with one major bank (really there are only two guesses here) and one small bank, I was always told that these things were … More Things you don’t know about money/the bank; from an ex banker.
And I promise, it’s not the cloudy pruno shit you see on Pinterest. Wine is a marriage of art and science. Remember this. So you have no idea where to start. There are 239,572,294 books on the subject. The options for “starter kits” online are vast, leaving you with more questions than answers. None of … More Make your own wine
Windows 10 is definitely not chocolate. It’s shit. I always come across some weird problem that Google can’t fix. And then I fix it on my own out of pure luck. This post is for all the Google-fu people out there who aren’t finding their answers. Maybe my solution will be it. I am not … More Weird Win10 problems fixed
And I yell a lot. I don’t mean to be a psychotic bitch to my children in the mornings, it just comes out of nowhere like that iceberg did. And I’m just as helpless to stop it. I need to get them up at 6 so that we can leave the house by 7:20 and … More Getting my kids to the bus stop is like preparing the Titanic for a voyage.
Dear neighbor, I’m sorry that we got off to a bad start. Despite my best efforts to be in the good graces of all who reside in this beautiful slice of what would otherwise be considered hillbilly town, my children’s bus stop being at your corner home and your seemingly low tolerance for anything under … More Dear neighbors who hate me and my wild monkey spawn;