Windows 10 is definitely not chocolate. It’s shit.
I always come across some weird problem that Google can’t fix. And then I fix it on my own out of pure luck. This post is for all the Google-fu people out there who aren’t finding their answers. Maybe my solution will be it. I am not an IT person by any means and you follow my advice at your own risk.
Problem #1: Other computers aren’t showing up on my hardwired (LAN) network.
For some reason, Windows is so busy trying to protect its idiot users from themselves that it shuts the rest of us out. Thanks, Bill Gates.
I had this problem recently because I share my printer with everyone in the house. It’s a problem when everyone else in the house can’t see my computer. Her name is Persephone, by the way, and she’s my angel. Even though she sporting a nasty Win10 Tramp Stamp, I still love her.
So the first step here is obviously to make sure you have all your sharing turned on. Right click on your windows button and hit control panel.
Make sure “View by small icons” is selected in the corner or you probably won’t find what you need.
Even your control panel assumes you drag your knuckles. Go to Network And Sharing Center. The menu on the left will sport a “change advanced sharing settings” link. Hit it.
Read the descriptions of all of this stuff if you want. Change it as follows.
To my knowledge, “Public Folder Sharing” is a special folder for THE PUBLIC and it’s asking if you want to share the folder specifically. I don’t own a laptop, I don’t go to LAN lodges or internet hotspots or wtf ever. This is a computer in my home and that I want to share access to with the other computers in my home.
So you might notice that there’s still no shared printer access on the other machine. And you thought that changing the NETWORK SETTINGS would, you know, change the network settings. Silly you.
Next go to that handy little clockbar on the bottom right. Left click on the tiny screen icon with the wire on its left side. Hit Network Settings.
If you don’t have the network settings link there, then right click on your windows icon and go to search. Type Windows Settings. It’ll give you “Windows Update Settings” because it’s a cunt that wants you to allow it to sneak it’s fucking bullshit onto your machine every change it gets. Go ahead and select that. On the top left of the screen that opens is a little gear picture next to the word Home. Click the Home link.
Now we’re in business.
Click the button, mkay?
Go to ETHERNET on the left.
Click your network. This is fucking stupid, because it’s not a link down below like all the other stuff. My brain says “NETWORK IS CONNECTED, SO SAYS THE PICTURE. MY OPTIONS ARE LISTED BELOW.” Not so. Click the Network button I’m pointing to.
And behold the hidden solution to your problem.
Turn that shit ON. ON ON ON. Tadaa, your PC can now allow other PCs to lick all of her dirty ports.
Hope that helped.
Problem #2: Win10 is FUCKING ME OVER with the sound!
Aka: My microphone is too quiet, my speakers are too quiet, no one can hear me when I key up, I can’t hear anyone else, my games/discord/teamspeak/ventrillo aren’t acknowledging my key ups, windows doesn’t see my speakers, windows is a piece of shit that won’t allow us to have windows7 back because they’re facist cunts. Did I cover all the bases?
So when I got this computer I was dismayed to find that my microphone was no longer plug and play as it had been for the previous ten years I owned it. Silly me. I followed techy advice and changed drivers and then my microphone would only work sometimes. I changed drivers a second time and then my speakers were quiet and windows didn’t want to acknowledge that I was even keying up to talk in my games. The third driver was the charm (technically fourth if I count the original that came with the computer), but I’ll try to do a bit of a walkthrough here.
What you need to know about computers, in case you never learned this, is that you need something called a driver for just about everything you have plugged in. A driver tells your computer how to handle the information the device is giving it. Usually a mouse and keyboard don’t need you to play with this, they’re kind of plug and play. But your printer, speakers, drawing tablet, vibrating webcam sex buttplug definitely do need your assistance with drivers. Else, computer just shrugs, says hi to the device, and goes about its business.
Thing #2 to know about drivers: when you get your computer from a company that installs all of this, they usually install the drivers that come with the pieces inside your computer. There are different companies that make the pieces inside your computer, kind of like different companies make cars. Windows 10, being the fickle bitch that it is, probably won’t like the drivers you have.
But we’ll start slow and move on to drivers if necessary. Some of the other solutions I offer might work for you.
So first off we’ll start easy. Go to the clock section of your windows bar on the bottom right of your screen. Left click your speaker and make sure your volume is up.
I didn’t think that would fix it. Moving on. Right click that same icon. Open volume sounds. Turn up the sound on anything that turned down, or click the speaker icon below that has a red circle under it.
Too easy again and probably not the solution to your problem.
Right click again and hit Playback Devices.
Your computer will list every hole (port) that it has for sound, including the HDMI ones on your graphics card (NVIDIA in my case).
Are your speakers plugged in? Make sure they are. You should have a green check next to your speakers. Is it red? Right click and enable.
If still no werkie, google it. That wasn’t my problem and I’m not about to spend thirty minutes covering all the bases to fix yours. By the way I’m not a nice person.
Moving on here. If your speakers are plugged in, select them and hit properties. Go to levels.
Make sure that shit is turned up. The stuff on the bottom should be set already, but feel free to play with it if you think it will help.
Next go to Advanced and play around there.
And by play around, I mean check these things and hit apply and see if it makes a difference. Changing the format didn’t do anything for me, but some people have reported it fixed their problems, so you can try changing the format. (dropdown menu).
If you go to recording devices on the original menu, you should be able to do the exact same shit for your microphone.
But really, I’m going to be honest here, all this shit should be pretty much configured how you need if your driver is right. If your problem is your microphone then this is what you want to play with. Go to enhancements and disable sound effects if there’s noise or you’re coming through too quiet. Go to advanced and allow applications to take control of the device. Go to levels and turn up the microphone. Make sure the little speaker icon isn’t turned off. Be careful with the microphone boost here, higher = more fuzz.
Or maybe just google your problem and try the stuff written by nice people who are politically correct and have advanced computer science engineering degrees. Or something.
Anyway, here’s what worked for me. I followed the directions and uninstalled my driver. Go to the control panel, device manager, and find Sound, Video, and Game Controllers down toward the bottom of the list. To get to your control panel, scroll up, it’s like the first thing I cover.
You want to uninstall your driver, which will be listed under Sound, Blah, Blah, and Blah.
It’ll ask: ARE YOU SURE, ARE YOU SURE, OMG THIS IS SCARY STUFF. Yes, you’re sure.
Read more before you do what I say.
Next you’re going to restart your computer. When it starts back up, you need to give it a minute or two to realize that it doesn’t have a sound driver. It’ll start downloading one and ask you about install. Yes, please. Follow the prompts, easy peasy.
Now go do what I said.
Tadaa, new driver. This fixes the problem for many. I wasn’t many.
I tried other options, but ultimately here was the driver that fixed it all.
I went to Realtek’s website. DO NOT go to the other shit that claims to have Realtek drivers, they’re selling something.
Accept their conditions. You’ll be presented with this.
I went with 64-bit. Because I really don’t know the difference but I’m pretty sure I saw something labeled x64 somewhere in one of my windows folders. Note to self: google that shit. You might want to google which one is right for you. (this is highly technical)
Moving along here…
So it says it’s an executable file. You can try just running it when you download it and see if that works. When I did this, it didn’t work that way. I had to uninstall my sound driver (again), then let windows search for a driver, and select the one I’d just downloaded. Your call.
Either case, this new driver might fix all your woes. The only thing that was still wonky for me was that my microphone was a little quiet, but my friends just turned my volume up in whatever program we were using and I went back to that thar recording devices menu and turned things up. This driver fixed all other problems. Programs were acknowledging my key ups, people could hear me and I didn’t sound like a robot, my speakers weren’t quiet anymore, and life was gravy.
Moral of the story: try ALL The drivers!
Hope that helped.
Problem #3: ERMAGHERD MY NEW GRAPHICS CARD ONLY CAME WITH ONE FUCKING PORT FOR MY MONITOR AND WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT ANYMORE?!
Aka: I only have one place to plug in my monitor (it’s not HDMI), I have two monitors and nowhere to put them, I plugged one monitor into my graphics card and one into my motherboard and the other monitor is blank/black/no signal/etc.
When I got this new computer back in December I ran into this problem. There are two ways to fix this. One is that you can buy a splitter for your monitor that way you can have two plugs going into your graphics card, or you can take the instant gratification route and plug one into the video port on your motherboard.
If all of this is japanese to you, then I apologize, and want to know how you knew that your graphics card only had one port.
So I’m thinking most motherboards these days have some kind of onboard graphics capability, rudimentary though it may be. It’ll get the job done for one monitor, your beefy graphics card should do all the grunt work. You can read your computer’s motherboard manual to see if it has graphic capabilities, but I’m kind of in the mindset that if you can plug a monitor into your motherboard then it’s implied… maybe that’s me.
Note: making your motherboard acknowledge your monitor is going to require poking around in your BIOS. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING IN BIOS YOU AREN’T COMFORTABLE WITH, YOU CAN DO PERMANENT DAMAGE.
First you should make sure both monitors are plugged in. Then you’ll need to restart your computer and go directly to your BIOS. Since this is all about Windows10 and what a flaming piece of shit it is, I’ll give you a handy link on how to start in BIOS. Cause most machines start too fast for you to press F904712934578 and boot to BIOS. (Can’t even remember which button to press).
These guys tell you how to do it, because once again Windows assumes you’re too stupid to ever need to go into your BIOS, just shut up and drool on your keyboard while you tap away at Twitter and Facebook because that’s all you’ll ever want out of life. Buuuuut in case you kind of want to use your computer for other things and really need to hit that BIOS, go here.
Once again, I stress, don’t fuck with your bios unless you know exactly what you’re doing. Only play with what I’m telling you, touch nothing else. And by the way you do this at your own risk.
But it solved my problem and I now have two monitors, so I’m glad I took this risk and it all worked out.
Anyway. Follow those directions to boot to BIOS and you’ll get a screen like in their first picture. You’ll need to use the arrow keys, escape, and enter to navigate. READ THE DIRECTIONS TO NAVIGATE.
Unless you have my motherboard that has a GUI (Graphical User Interface), then you’ll get this beauty.
You’ll want to go to your motherboard settings and find anything to do with onboard graphics. If it’s not there, go to advanced. Find something called “IGD Multi-Monitor.”
Or something similar.
Turn it on.
[Enabled] – it’s a beautiful thing. Don’t touch any of the other shit, I have no idea what it does. SAVE your settings and exit. Or in my case it was exit, then save, then exit again. Whatevs.
Your computer will restart. Don’t panic if you don’t have that monitor yet, give windows a minute to figure out whatever the hell it’s figuring out. Walk away, make some coffee, chillax. Come back and see what you’ve got going on. Right click your desktop, hit display settings, and see if that second monitor is there. It should be!
If it’s not, I had to open my device manager (that control panel thing) and then Windows detected my other monitor. Maybe that woke it up. Maybe it just needed more time. I dunno.
Anyway, hope this helps. I couldn’t find anything this simple online when I went through it, and a big shout out goes to my little brother for holding my hand through this BIOS business. I’m like 6/10 on the techy scale. With the power of google I can pretty much do it all, but there’s no way I can come close to Engineer level knowledge, even with google at my side, and BIOS shit intimidates me. Cause, you know, permanent damage is a big deal.
More solved issues to come.